MONDAY 30th JUNE 1980

Excepts from a teenage soap opera...
After the party...The common room was very quiet today (the study room is quiet every day) eventually a few weary survivors appeared ravaged by the weekend. It transpired that Stuart had organized a party on the same night. We got more Gaynesfordians, but I suspect that Stuart had more fun. Mark's assassination run against the local rabbit population seemed destined to go down in the history books and was mentioned by several people that morning. Steve was a bit cold with Mark, although I suppose that was only to be expected given the trials and tribulations of the party. On the other hand it was probably only to be expected that a party would result in some kind of hassle. After all nearly all the other one's resulted in some argument, fight or extended psycho-therapy session. Mr and Mrs Johnson are reported to be suspicious about what happened during the weekend. Steve and Company must have either done an exceptional job of cleaning up or the Johnson’s must be blind.

Kim in hospital... Trevor Coldman tells me that Kim is ill, she is suffering from appendicitis and has had an operation to remove the offending organ. We make plans to visit her in hospital as soon as she is able to have visitors. She must have been suffering around the time of the party.

In the future...Pat Graham appeared today to ask how many pupils planned to stay on next year. I rise my hand as a joke and the look of pure horror on the deputy headmistress's face is a joy to behold. Her reply is a very firm “No, you are not!”

Exit stage right...Mark has decided he has had enough and has decided to leave school early – three days early. As a gesture of rebellion it lacks a little something.



TUESDAY 1st JULY 1980.
Getting near the end now.
We are going out with a whimper. Piner and some of her cronies have already vanished; their exams over they left. It does not occur to them to see it through to the end, but for the 'inner circle' staying right to the end is crucial.1

The sixth form is down to Steve,Beverley, Diane, Lee, Ashok, and myself and of course Nick Rowe who could probably be classed as non-essential personnel. God help me, I like this bunch of mutants and piss-takers, there was something special about this year, I can only describe in the same way that Vietnam veterans hold onto the friendships they made “In country” although in our class there were slightly fewer deaths and helicopter landings...but the principle is sound.

Put the Black Sabbath tape on Ashok! Sing me a song, you're a singer, Do me a wrong, you're a bringer of evil. The Devil is never a maker, The less that you give, you're a taker So it's on and on and on, it's Heaven and Hell, oh well

WEDNESDAY 2nd JULY 1980.
Enter stage left...Mark returned deciding that he would leave at a later date. Since term ends on Friday I wonder when he had in mind. Still nice to have him back although both Steve and I offer the hope he has recovered a little from his infatuation with Diane.



THURSDAY 3rd JULY 1980
Played cricket against the staff, we lost by a number of wickets and a lot of dignity...

After the game, pupils and staff decamped to the Glynn Arms for what would be the final sixth form drinking session. I thirsted for anarchy and alcohol, but it didn’t happen that way. Instead I got several hours of drinking inferior lager and explaining to members of staff about my plans for higher education.

I wanted to quaff beer to shout and sing and somehow crystalise the essence of the last eleven months. I needed a single moment to cherish for all eternity; one firm and unmoving point in this crazy weirdo infested universe that looked like it was destined to get weirder. But it was not be that way.

Editors note. A scrap of paper undated but inserted into the diary at this point relates how a bit of macho horseplay Beverley Simmons that could have had serious repercussions for them both. History records that I grabbed Beverley and carted her off for what was touted as a suicide attempt. The truth was a little different - and a lot more embarrassing.

My diary at the time notes that I was bored shitless and probably not a little drunk (not a little as in a lot), after an evening of dull discussion and fruitless exposition, I wanted- no I needed something, anything to break the ennui. I walked out of the pub, saw Beverley and decided on one of those macho stunts,which anyone with half a brain could have seen would go wrong.

Unfortunately at that point in time, half a brain would have constituted a major increase in my IQ.

I hoisted Beverley over my shoulder and walked away. My intention was to dump her on the bonnet of one of the cars in some adolescent display of dominance. Unfortunately she was wearing a loose blouse affairs whose folds obscured my view when she was over my shoulder. Unable to see more than the immediate path in front of me and in the mistaken belief that I was heading for the car park I walked out into the main road.

My first clue that all was not well when I noticed my shadow lengthening in front of me - a definite indication of a light source heading our way and at some speed. My finely honed sense of self-preservation was trying to tell me something, but my alcohol-numbed brain wasn't taking callers that evening. Luckily I eventually realized. (Beverley kicking and screaming"There's a lorry coming, get off the road you idiot!" helped as well) I managed to avoid the articulated lorry and returned us both to the relative safety of the pub where I decided to leave heroics and bravery to people with stunt doubles.

Cook's diary continues...
On the way home that night, Steve found himself alone on the green bridge near his home in the company of Beverley. He finally asked her out. She never said yes, but she didn’t say no either…


Friday 4 July 1980.
Is this Independence Day?
I got into the sixth form centre early, arriving before even Steve and Mark; I wanted to absorb as much of the atmosphere as I could. I stood there alone in the centre staring at the room. The 'Che' picture on the wall, the 'Fraag' drawings, the discarded paper in the basket, which might have even been, notes for an exam subject. (Although I doubt it.)

I pour a coffee discover there is no milk and have to settle for black. It matches my mood. Of course we were going out with a whimper, what other choice did we have? Slowly over the next hour the remaining members of the sixth form drift into the common room. We are scheduled to finish the day visiting Kim, she has had her appendix removed and Beverley Steve, Ashok, and I would be going to see her later today.

Mid-morning: Steve and I are summoned to Orme’s office. We get there to find Orme and Graham waiting for us. There is much talk about our service to the school, and talk about what we plan to do when we leave the school. Suddenly we are fine upstanding members of the academic community; people that the younger members of the school will wish to look up to. For a moment I do not realise that she is talking to me.

I also notice that Mark has not been invited to this back slapping session. But then Mark had not had much success with exams. I am not sure of the score but think he may have failed them all. In his defence, one of his re-takes for Religious Studies was mind-boggling difficult and we all agree that no one could have completed it. But he had been equally unlucky with his other exams as well. Steve is quick to lay the blame at the feet of the problems with Diane, with the caveat that Mark should not have taken it so hard, but I recall our friend blowing out exams (Failing) one more than one occasion.

Orme is impressed to learn that both Steve and I will be heading for Polytechnics to study although we are less impressed that this is news to her. Steve will be studying BA Law in Bristol and I will be closer to home studying Social Sciences B.Sc. at the Polytechnic of the South Bank at Elephant and Castle.

We shake hands and leave the office. it's time to go. We don't bother to say goodbye to the staff, we are planning to meet for a drink later than night and tearful farewells are not really mine nor anyone else's style.

Mid afternoon. We walk to the hospital to visit Kim, she is pale but well after her operation. We stayed less than an hour, feeling uncomfortable. As we walked out of the hospital, it hit me – it was over! I had survived three years in the sixth form. Ashok had once claimed that “Ron didn’t go to Gaynesford, he is Gaynesford”, compliment, insult or fact? The others turned left and walked home. There was no final goodbyes, no hugs and kisses, just a slow embarrassed movement from a group to a series of individuals, the last whimper of the day. Of course the fact that we intend to meet for a drink or six that very weekend takes the edge off the emotional content.

I walked slowly down Welbeck Road, ahead it was possible to see the dirty white of Gaynesford High School. The irony of the situation - leaving by walking back - was not lost on me. I think I had wanted anarchy and something to remember but maybe, just maybe that was the last year. The highs, the low and the hype. Steve once likened it to "good acid" well the closest I ever came to that was probably an out of date "tic-tac" but I think I know what he meant. It only seems like yesterday we started and today we finish. Steve used Dylan and Mark used Joy Division, but my musical roots were a little more proletarian and one line came readily to mind.

Do you know know know what its like to be searching and suddenly find - all your illusions all your confusions all left behind..

Perhaps the future would not be so bad, a degree beckoned and according to Trevor Coldman, a degree was a “good laugh." To finally gain some independence and not be hidebound by the rules and petty constrictions of school. To finally become an adult surely that has to be something I can look forward to. The future was bright and rosy and the world is waiting for Ron Cook.

Half way down Welbeck Road, I change my mind...

Editors note. At the end of the 1980 diary tucked into an old envelope we found this. It seems to have been directed to Cook's fellow sixth formers and we reprint it without comment.

The End